Dating up or down
The boys busied themselves, and watched me, sidelong, like a bartender cutting limes.
But I was young, I wore a vest to work, and I liked to think I could understand the world in a sidelong glance. As women are increasingly autonomous, we must recalibrate our idea of what a good woman is, but also what a good man is, too.
It's a matter of chemistry and like-mindedness and shared values. The whole idea of dating down or up is horrific. Are Crushes Normal if You're in a Relationship? Do you really thing I would list those women upon whom I made judgment?
To be fair, grownup should be grownups no matter what the NYT says about adulthood. Jeff wasn't an anomaly. When men date down, it's a woman who isn't good looking enough. I took care of them, the way a bartender does, and then retreated to wipe down a highball or cut limes, assessing, all by my lonesome, how the date was going.
That means Machado's story is probably all too common. But first try talking to him. The rankings were moot. Also, three dates with an all-American gymnast.
STAY IN TOUCH
Back when I tended bar, I often served couples, obviously on their first date, as they waited for a table. Every date, date up. Accept it because humbleness is rare, and rarer still is it so easily earned, with this trick of the mind, driven as a simple assertion of the truth of things: I only figured out that I was dating down long after the first date. In those cases, I was talking to women who'd never known it any other way.
Dating down is typically apt when a man or woman dates someone else who is considered "not good enough" for them. It had nothing to do with how beautiful they were.
You don't know what works!
Still, never assume the higher dating up or down in love. You have to give the higher dating up or down to that which you desire. I cannot stress enough, this is what an equal is — you'll definitely know it when you find it, and it will have nothing to do with gender.
I tended to go home with waitresses, or charm female friends into sleeping with me. I didn't think of it as dating down, and b I would only even realize that in retrospect. We had an expert weigh in on what it means to date up you think your guy is hotter and date down you think you're hotter than your guy and how it can affect your outlook on love.
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